Adversity, Grateful

Tenacity

October 31, 2014

I’m grateful that I inherited the tenacious gene.

Like one of those little Russell terriers who hold on tightly to Mr. Wilson’s or the mailman’s leg, by and large I won’t let go.

I won’t let go of friends, even if they’ve “done me wrong,” I won’t let go of a job even if it’s been hijacked by the forces of darkness and evil, and I won’t let go of the people who come to me with their almost impossible-to-solve problems with the “man.”

And I think that tenacity has held me in good stead. I still have some friends from high school, I’ve helped to send some of the forces of darkness and evil on their way, and I’ve been able to beat the “man” even with the odds stacked way against me.

But my perseverance when it comes to ideas—well, I don’t know if that’s such a great thing. If I work on a documentary for years, put more blood, sweat, money, thought, creativity than it probably deserved—it’s hard to walk away. Actually almost impossible. But…doable.

Today I am walking away from a project. A project which two years ago I was sure was going to turn out terrific, have enormous international appeal, be a truly revelatory piece of work. But I’m moving on. Because I’m working on two others, running a non-profit organization, an academic department and trying to be a good friend, partner, wife, and catser. So I’m ditching this idea for now. And although I wish it could have turned out differently, I’m grateful to have the presence of mind to see that it’s killing me, physically and mentally. I’m grateful that I’m able to open my jaw, release the leg and scamper forward. And I’m grateful that I have the wherewithal to know that tomorrow or the next day, I’ll have another idea to sink my teeth into.

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